Oh My God, I Did It Again!
Only this time it was worse!
In December I blogged about an incident that happened to me years ago -- my husband printed some work related information on the back of one of my recycled manuscripts...a sex scene. You can read about that in the Dec 20th blog.
A friend of mine, a university professor, mid-sixties, married 40+ years, avid church-goer and pinnacle of the community asked me for some web help. He needed information on a database issue that I didn't know, so I emailed my sister for the answer. Her reply was so complicated, I printed it out to give to my friend.
When I saw him, we spoke for just a minute about the email. I told him I didn't think her answer would help him with what he needed, but as he was skimming it, he noticed the printing on the other side (as I mentioned in my other post I recycle my paper and print on both sides for editing purposes), flipped it over and started reading.
Because I'd recently written about the earlier incident, I got a sick feeling in my stomach, that embarrassed shock you get when someone (who shouldn't) accidentally sees you naked, or walks into the bathroom when you're sitting on the toilet.
Purely out of instinct, I distracted him with a question and skillfully took the paper from him, pointing out one of my sister's comments in the email. While we were discussing it, I glanced at the back of the paper to decide if I could give him the print out (which had been my original intent).
The first words my eyes landed on were:
He thrust into her on long, deep, desperate strokes...
Jesus Mary mother of God!
All I could think was 'how can I keep him from taking this paper without fessing up?'
Luckily, the answer wasn't what he needed, so the email was of no use to him.
But I couldn't help but wonder -- for days afterward -- how much of that scene he read, which words his eyes landed on when he turned it over.
This was the passage: WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD
“Jenna.” He rolled his forehead on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, baby.” Shit. What a fuck-up. “I’m sorry.”
She pulled his head back by the hair and kissed him hard. “All of you,” she rasped. “Now.”
She kissed him again, her tongue searching for his. She pulled her hips back and rocked into him, taking him completely. He slid easily, the firm, soft texture of her wet walls stealing what little sanity he’d retained thus far. Guilt fled, replaced by an intense wash of pleasure and power.
He’d never been wanted like this. He’d never wanted another like this. The need so powerful, so complete. Somewhere in his disabled mind the wild sting of fear shot through and just as quickly fizzled out.
He thrust into her on long, deep, desperate strokes, and her hips rose to meet every one.
“Yes.” One of her hands slipped out of his hair as she lost control. “God, Cole.”
“Bring it, baby.” He wasn’t sure if he got the words out, but they were screaming in his head. Bring it to me, baby. All of it. Right now.
Her body arched, pushing off the wall. She clenched and squeezed his shaft on a powerful orgasm. Excitement rippled up through his stomach and into his chest. He buried himself as deep as he could and let go. Heat and sensation burst in his groin, rocketed into his belly and chest, down his legs.
Then the rush slowed, the intensity softened, vibrations deepened until his body stopped shuddering, until every part of him had been stretched to its limit then released to absorb the ultimate pleasure.
This had to be what was so vividly referred to as a mind-blowing orgasm, because his brain was gone. Every last little gray cell.
There really isn't one innocuous passage in there. And I still can't help but wonder...
Never mind. The point is I utterly can not believe I did this again. What are the chances? Well, they are romance novels, but still -- out of 400+ pages, about 20 of those being love scenes, you've got to admit the chances aren't that great.
Lesson learned. And one I'd like to pass on -- if you recycle your paper, CHECK the opposite side before anyone else sees it.
Someone PLEASE tell me a story of something stupid or silly or embarrassing you've done so I don't feel so totally idiotic!
Labels: Joan's posts
posted by Joan Swan at 9:39 PM
6Comments:
ROFLMAO!
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing at you, but you have to admit it is funny.
The scene is awesome!
(Hint: Church-going people do have sex, btw.)
Nowhere near the same scale, but I did finally admit to my 11th graders that my to-be-released books did include sex and cursing. They've been digging for that answer for months and I've been evading. Since I'd posted it in my Thursday Thirteen last week, figured I might as well admit it.
Does that count?
I know, I know, but...you kind of have to know him -- the goodie two shoes type. Great guy, love him to death, just...ugh.
Anyway...
How did the kids react? Any fallout from parents?
OH. My. GOD. I spewed coffee all over my laptop! My seven-year-old came running over asking, "What's so funny, Mom?" and I had to pronto figure out a way to close the screen before her little (and newly able to read) eyes were violated forever! (Not an easy task when you're laughing your ass off.)
Oh, man. That was so funny. thanks for the giggle this morning. I know it's going to happen to me one of these days.
And yes, Lin, I want to know what the reaction was as well.
Actually, not much of a reaction. I mentioned a character's propensity for the "f" word; they were surprised I knew it. (Yeah. Sure.)
They chuckled a little, one of them shrugged and said the books were targeted to an adult audience, not them. I've taught this crew for four years now, so after teasing me a little, they moved on.
Good kids. :-)
::Someone PLEASE tell me a story of something stupid or silly or embarrassing you've done so I don't feel so totally idiotic!::
I can't! I'm laughing too hard! [sputtering]
Joan,
LMAO-- this is so funny. I recycle paper too. But when it comes to printing something off for family I'm ultra careful. grin
A couple of times I've come close to something like what happened to you, but I remembered to check the paper I'd printed at the last moment and was able to reprint. I wonder how long that lucks going to last. I bet I'm about due for something similar.
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