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:~: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 :~:

Putting Yourself Out There

I apologize for not posting yesterday. I've already been flogged with a wet noodle because someone says I disappeared and shouldn't do that. (I love you, J. I love that you worry about me. You're a sweetie.)

For the record, I was on vacation with the fam and the house we rented didn't have internet access (GASP! Can you imagine???? I was going through serious withdrawls.) Five days in sunny Central Oregon playing and having fun. And I'm pooped. A vacation with the kids is a lot of work. I feel like I need a vacation to recoup from my vacation.

Anyway, while I was there, something interesting happened. I let my DH read the first few chapters of my recent book. And I cringed.

The. Whole. Time.


Because...it's HIM reading MY work. Now he's gonna know what goes on in my twisted little brain. What if I shock him? (BTW, he read it and loved it - and why wouldn't he? It's wonderful. ROFL. Actually, he said that WHEN it's pubbed, he gets all the credit for making me think like a guy. And he's totally right.)

So back to the topic.

I cringed when DH read my stuff. Then tonight I went to my writer's meeting - which was a critique meeting - and purposely didn't take anything to have critiqued. But, lo and behold, this evil Nationals roommate of mine printed my new prologue and brought it for everyone to read. Grrr....

And I cringed some more.


Because I hate hate HATE having people read my stuff. No, that's not true. I think I hate being in the same room when they're reading it. I'm so self conscious. Strangers reading it is fine, but I'm forever worrying about what the people I know are going to think of me and my abilities when they read what I've written.

Does this ever change? The more you write, the more you pub? Do you ever stop worrying about what friends and family will say and think? Putting myself out there to agents and editors is a snap compared to putting myself out there to friends and family.

Tell me how you get past this fear - if you have it at all.


Blogger Lisa Pulliam said...

Haha! I know, I'm evil. Hey, you weren't getting off with the excuse of "oops, we just got back and I forgot." Like you used with the bracelet, ha! ;-)

But hey, did you notice that your feedback session was like two seconds? Everyone LOVED it. They loved the pacing, the descriptions, the action and the questions it left. You're a fantabulous writer dah-ling.

8:26 AM  
Blogger Paty Jager said...

Lisa's right. You are a fantabulous writer and your day is coming.

I don't have a fear of people reading my work. I'm not sure why, but I like the idea of my words saying what lurks within me.

Granted, I'm not as twisted as you. LOL, but I do put some of me in every book.

10:54 AM  

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